Tuesday, October 31, 2006

trying to be perfect

A few days ago I was feeling a strange urge to be on my best religious behaviour. On my way home, while listening to a religious lesson by Omar Abdelkafi, I decided to visit an orphanage for the first time in my life. I had just taken some money from the bank so I was willing to make a small donation after I play with the kids. When I finally got there, the receptionist looked surprised to see me. I asked him if I could take a look at the kids and he asked if I was adopting any of them and after I told him that I didn't he told me that I would have to wait five minutes or so before he could tell me if I could see them or not. It turned out that I couldn't see them since Friday is the only day reserved for visits which made me give them my donation and go get in the car. I usually pull the seat belt as soon as I get in the car but I don't know why I didn't pull the belt this time. I got to the Hosary Square at the end of the road and I was stopped by a police man asking me for my driver's license. I quietly handed him my driver's license…

Police Man: "Why don't you have the seat belt on?"

Me: "I'm sorry, I'll put them on right now, I just came out of the parking slot…I was at the orphanage over there"

Police Man: "What were you doing at the orphanage?"

I gave him the "it's none of your business" look

Police Man: "Do you work there?"

Me: "No"

Police Man: "Then what were you doing?"

Me: "I was visiting the kids and stuff"

Police Man: "Visiting them, eh? Hmmm…that changes everything. Here's your license back"

Me: "thank you"

As soon as I left I felt like I've been cheated off of the good deed I just did. Did I tell him that I was in the orphanage so that he would think I was a good person and leave me or did I want him to know that I was parking my car real close and had no time to wear the seat belt??

I've heard before that God doesn't like to share any of the good deeds you do with anyone which means that when doing a good deed do it for God's sake only, not for social purposes for example.

I was mainly pissed because when I finally decide to do some charity work just for God's sake the police man comes and ruins it for me. I was actually ready to go back and ask him to take my driver's license so that I would take full credit for the good deeds I have just done!! It does seem ridiculous, even to me now while typing this. Thank God I changed my mind after seeing him being bribed by a couple of guys who have also broken the traffic laws in some way.


Dee-Vine said...

haha, this totally reminds me of the friends episode where joey tells phoebe that there's no such thing as a selfless good deed. have you seen it by any chance?

greyscale said...

hahaha...that's exactly what that was!! i did see that episode...hilarious.

Miss S said...

Hey interesting post!

I'm probably commenting on this post kinda late, seeing that it's dated back to October, but I happened to find your blog by coincedence, and thought i'd comment :)

I just think that its really good that you were able to express your inner feelings like that. Not alot of people do that I guess. I personally get that feeling sometimes, you know...trying to do the good thing that God wants us to do, without having yourself wonder whether anyone has seen you as you did that given thing? hehe.
Oh well let's just hope we could all really get closer to God :)

Keep up the good blog posts!

greyscale said...

thanks miss S. you know what i realized? you can feel happy in a lot of situations, but these moments don't even compare to the kind of happiness and satisfaction you feel after you've done a good deed for God's sake. And what's funny is that something weird always happens after that which makes you relate it to the good deed you just did...like the donation i did when i was at the orphanage that time, when i donated a certain amount of money literally 10 times that much money came to me Out Of Nowhere the next day....i'm not surprised at the amount of money or indicating that i needed it or anything, but just to come so unexpectedly like that was something i never experienced before...so of course i automatically linked it to the donation i did thinking that it was a sign God gave me to do more charity.

thanks again for you're kind words..

Miss S said...

You're welcome! Glad you replied. Now I know I can regularly ‎check your blog :) hehe.

Once again , I totally agree with what you said. Some people interpret such incidents (as that of you suddenly finding 10 times as much money as that u you donated, out of nowhere)as being miraculous ‎‎or are a result of some super powers that have sensed your good deeds! No, as simple as it may sound, it is God. We might not notice it all the time, but it's true, that when you do something good, you tend to find a direct return for it. When and where will that return ever happen, but it'll happen. And that's what's always nice to know :)